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[Bulba probably hid out in his room e-mailing Green and waiting for some sort of response before he even thought of touching the computer. He got one eventually.]

Ugh... why does weird stuff always happen and why does it always end in headaches and feeling like crap ba.

Though I prefer headaches to hallucinations or whatever so...

I'm kind of itching to do some things. Does anyone want to play some soccer or something? Hey Max, if you're not busy, you want to go get something to eat or..?

...Char we need to talk. Can I come over?

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[No spiders here bro :'| Just a whole lotta awkward.]

What the hell are you apologizin' to me for? You didn't say nothin' about me.

Oh good. [He'll just be pulling his knees up to his chest now ok.] I wasn't sure... I can't really remember what I might of said.

[He could just dodge the topic, brush it off with a "nothing important", and then he'd avoid putting his foot in his mouth.

But this is important. Char has a heck of a lot of feelings on the subject, dangit, and he's gonna make them known as many times as it takes.]

...I'm pretty sure you thought some bug was Green.

[And he's gonna lead into it in the lamest way possible. :|b ]

[Bulba's just going to stare with a look that says, "Oh please tell me you are joking."]

... A bug.

[Oh god did this really all go down because of a bug gggguh.]

Yeah.

...Lookin' back, I probably shouldn'ta squished it.

Oh.

...

Yeah... that... explains a lot...

[Aaaawkward turtle.]

It all seemed really real. You were you and it was him and...

[He can't get himself to finish that sentence.]

Kid... c'mon. I know I give Green a lot of shit, but I'd never... that's too far. We're a team. You know that.

I know you wouldn't! And I... I know he wouldn't leave me behind. It's ridiculous, I know that. But that's what I saw so... That's why I wanted to apologize if I said anything.

I told you. You ain't gotta be apologizin' to me. It ain't like my feelings are hurt.

...You miss him, don't you?

[He's going to look over... there.]

... Yeah.

...Yeah, me too.

[Char's first impulse is to tackle this from a "you've got nothing to worry about" angle -- to impress on Bulba that he's Green's best, his first, his favorite -- the one that stuck with him the longest, the one he'd never drop. That Bulba never disobeyed or made any problems. That dammit, a couple of months with two of his teammates was nothing compared to being left alone for two years.

But as terrible as Char is at comforting people, he knows for a fact that stuff like that will go over like a lead balloon. It might be his nature to deny, to ignore, to just put on an indifferent face, but a fat lot of good that approach will do Bulba. "Do the exact opposite of what I would do" is turning out to be a surprisingly good way to handle this big brother stuff.]

...I ever tell about how I ended up in the wild?

[That certainly got Bulba to look at Char again. He slowly shook his head. No, Char hadn't said anything about it.

Bulba's knowledge was vague and he had ideas, but he really just didn't know. Beyond asking if he had been Aiden's starter, Bulba hadn't asked anything about it. It felt like too taboo of a subject and he knew that Char probably would have sooner jumped in the lake then actually talk to him about it.

… Needless to say that Bulba was surprised it was being brought up. And in a way he sort of dreaded it.]

I was useless.

[So blunt it actually kind of hurts to say it -- a dull impact, like some invisible weight dropping onto him. He falters for a bit, sorely tempted to fall back into his old, avoidant ways. But after a moment, he's talking again, feigning fascination in something over in the window.]

I kept losin' and losin', so Aiden stuck me in the daycare over by Cerulean. I was so far behind the rest of the team that he didn't think I'd keep up otherwise. Told me to toughen up a bit, and he'd be back once we were ready to take Misty on. I think he forgot about that part, though. He never showed up. ...Two years, three months, and one day. I still ain't forgotten. That's exactly how long it took until I gave up on waitin'. He'd gone off and reached his dream already. His whole team was evolved and everything, and there I was, still a Charmander all hung up on somebody who'd forgotten all about me.

The kinda stuff I thought back then... it ain't any different from the stuff goin' on in your head. "I never shoulda let him leave me alone. He don't care about me no more. Maybe he never did. I ain't good enough for him. I shouldn'ta been so weak. Maybe I'd deserve him if I'd evolved, too." That kinda thinkin'... it messed me up, Bulba. The whole time I was wild, I was alone. I didn't have nothin' but those thoughts.

[And he kinda laughs, because he doesn't know what else to do. It isn't exactly often that he airs out the rawest, most vulnerable wound he's got, and hell... talking like this, he's probably just gonna scare Bulba into thinking Green's not coming back even more than before.]

...Y'might not think it, Bulba, but you're doin' everything right. You're goin' places. I figured that if I could keep you from gettin' fucked up like me, it'd be okay. I'd do anything if I could keep you from thinkin' those kinds of thoughts, I mean it. But if you're gonna think 'em... they ain't gonna go away. I know that. Hell... sometimes I think maybe he ain't comin' back, too. Bein' alone messes with you, y'know?

So I guess... I guess I'm sayin' it's okay to worry about it. You don't gotta be ashamed about missin' him, and it ain't wrong to get a little scared about it. That stuff happens when your trainer leaves. Just... don't let it screw you up, okay? I know it don't mean shit compared to bein' with Green, but... I ain't goin' nowhere. You ain't with him, but you ain't alone, alright?

[Bulba listened very quietly, his brow furrowing every so often. It was strange to hear him saying all of it. It was Char, after all. And to be honest... yeah, it kind of scared him. It scared him to know it had happened. (He had the idea but Char actually saying it made it real.) That it could happen again, to both of them. That there really wasn't anyway of knowing until it was essentially too late to change it. Bulba hugged his knees a little tighter, thinking about what Char was saying. Was he just afraid of being alone? It was likely, but he felt it was more than that... but at the moment he could ignore that. Just as Char said, Bulba still had him. Through all of the crazy the school had presented them, with or without Green, Bulba still had Char. That was probably why he was so afraid to tell him.

Bulba nodded his head a little. He tried to bring up a smile for him, but it didn't work out, just twitching the corners of his mouth a bit.]

... You're not alone either.

[It's a little frustrating sometimes. He keeps doing his best to be a pillar, be a rock, but he's just so bad with words that he's never sure if he's helping or if he's just making it worse. As long as he's known Bulba... sometimes, he really has no idea what's going through the kid's head. He's not sure what to say next.

"Even if that happens, I ended up with another trainer just fine, so..." No, Bulba wouldn't want another. Bulba would want Green.

"We don't need a human to keep on survivin', anyway." Also stupid -- no matter how many times Char would say it, that wouldn't change how much Green mattered.

"He ain't the kind of trainer to leave anyone behind." Would that kind of reassurance just ring hollow? He'd been trying to tell Bulba that it was okay to be worried, that stuffing those anxious feelings out of sight would just make it worse, but at the same time... knowing Bulba was feeling that way was hard. There was no magic feel-better button. He couldn't just... pick all those insecurities up and dump them onto his own shoulders. All he really could do was keep on stumbling his way through those awkward, almost-affectionate words of his.

For lack of anything better to say, Char just rests his hand on Bulba's head.]

Yeah. I'm finally startin' to clue into that. You 'n me, kid... we'll be alright. You'll see.

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teal deer crossing

What a majestic beast.

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